Cześć Szymon J. – nie zabij mnie za ten tekst.

Nie byłabym sobą, gdybym o nim nie wspomniała. Arogancki, szyderczy, ironiczny, uszczypliwy i szczery do bólu. Niepokorny, niemiły i nie potrafiący się podporządkować. Taki dla mnie jest, reżyser inny niż wszyscy. Oto Szymon Jakubowski.

Na jedne z zajęć przyniósł stare aparaty, dał nam je do rąk, opowiadając o zaletach i wadach pracy na sprzęcie, który wypadł z obiegu.

Pamiętam jego pierwsze słowa: „Musicie wiedzieć kim jesteście. Tylko w ten sposób dojdziecie tam gdzie chcecie“. Te słowa były kamieniem rzuconym w sali wykładowej. Jedni tego kamienia nawet nie zauważyli. Innym odbił się od czoła i poleciał w eter. Byli też tacy jak ja, których ten kamień uderzył i musieli znaleźć sposób na to aby go zrozumieć. Dlatego, że ja byłam ambitną mądrą dziewczyną, której wydawało się, że wchodzi oknem do świata filmu aby zostać aktorką. Wydawało się, jest tutaj wyrażeniem klucz, bo na pytanie kim jestem, w mojej głowie pojawiała się pustka. Z perspektywy czasu wiem, że to całkiem pospolite. Nikt przecież wcześniej nie zadawał nam takiego pytania i nikt nie oczekiwał odpowiedzi. Aż do momentu, kiedy na mojej drodze pojawił się Szymon, który dał impuls do działania.

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Na pierwszym roku studiów, mieliśmy z nim zajęcia, które nazywały się ‚montaż‘, chociaż z montażem niewiele miały wspólnego. Do dziś znajomi ze studiów szydzą w ten sposób. Nie wiedzą jednak, że te zajęcia dawały coś więcej niż jakiś montaż, którego można nauczyć się samemu w domu poprzez tutoriale. Dawały jednak możliwość odnalezienia swojej drogi i podjęcia decyzji jak chcemy by wyglądało nasze życie. I bez względu na to jak się nazywał, jeśli nie umieli odnaleźć informacji ukrytej między wierszami to rzeczywiście był stracony czas. Szymon w trakcie pierwszych zajęć powiedział jeszcze jedno: „Jest Was na roku jakieś trzysta osób, a w zawodzie będzie pracowała jedna, może dwie“. Zabrzmiało to dla mnie jak wyzwanie, na które w głowie pojawiała się jedna myśl: „To będę na pewno ja! No, bo kto jak nie ja. Tylko kiedy?“.

Później był plan zdjęciowy serialu, przy którym Szymon był reżyserem. Jeszcze dobrze nie zabrałam się za poprzedni kamień, jak dostałam wtedy od niego głazem, który zepchnął mnie z powierzchni Ziemi. Mianowicie przygotowywałam się wtedy do etiudy na zaliczenie przedmiotu na studiach. Byłam podekscytowana i pełna energii do działania. Nareszcie mogliśmy na naszych studiach działać. Cały czas na planie chodziłam z grubą teczką, wypełnioną papierami dotyczącymi realizacji filmu tj. scenariuszem, raportami, planami, umowami, zgodami. Szymon wreszcie zapytał mnie co to za teczka. Odpowiedziałam mu wtedy dumna, że robię film. „Chyba etiudę.“ rzucił krótko Szymon, sprowadzając mnie na ziemię. ( na tę samą, z którą mnie później zrównał ). Ciekawy jednak zapytał co to za projekt, czym się przy nim zajmuje i jaki jest scneariusz. Odpowiedziałam: „Ogólnie to wiesz, jestem aktorką. A film nazywa się „Czyściec“ a ja jestem scenarzystą, reżyserem i kierownikiem produkcji“ oczekując wielkiego wow. Szymon natomiast rzucił: „Zaraz, zaraz, ile ty masz lat?“. 24 odpowiedziałam. „Ale to kim ty jesteś? Aktorką, reżyserką, scenarzstką czy kierowniczką produkcji? Nie. Wiesz co? To już jest dużo za późno, żebyś się zastanawiała kim jesteś. Nie możesz być jednocześnie tymi trzema funkcjami, bo będziesz beznadziejna.“

Pamiętam tylko, że spaliłam buraka i miałam ochotę się rozpłakać. Bo przecież staram się być dobra, ambitna, zdolna a tu nagle okazuje się, że jestem nikim. Dodatkowo nic nie osiągnęłam i jest już za późno, żebym cokolwiek zrobiła ze swoim życiem. Nie wiem czy Szymon wiedział co robi, ale dał mi wtedy ultimatum albo teraz albo nigdy. Zajęło mi to całą noc, dochodzenie do tego, czego chce, kim jestem, jak widzę siebie za kilka lat.

Następnego dnia napisałam do niego maila, coś w stylu ja już wiem – chcę być kierownikiem produkcji, najlepszym na świecie. Na co Szymon odpisał, coś w stylu to idź i bądź, świat jest twój.

Od tego momentu wszystko się zmieniło. I za to zawsze będę Szymonowi wdzięczna.

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Tyle historii. Potem kilka razy dał mi szansę, kilka razy mnie polecił, kilka razy dawał kopa i kilka razy podawał rękę. I jest jedną z niewielu osób, która we mnie uwierzyła. I pewnie, jak zwykle uzna to za szczyt lizustwa, ale mam to gdzieś, bo nauczył mnie jeszcze, że czasem trzeba mieć gdzieś.

Teraz czekam tylko na jego kolejny film fabularny, przy którym rzucę wszystko i zawsze mu pomogę!

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Zdjęcia autorstwa Magdy Jakubowskiej. Plan pilota serialu “Medium” reż. Szymon Jakubowski

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Komentarzy: 29

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