Frus/racja

Cokolwiek nie postanowisz zrobić, napotkasz przeszkody i będziesz mierzył się z problemami, a twoja postawa zadecyduje, jak długo dana przeszkoda będzie ci zagradzać drogę. Wyobraź sobie, co by było, gdyby każdemu z nas w dzieciństwie ktoś powiedział to jedno proste zdanie. Czy czulibyśmy się kiedykolwiek rozczarowani, źli, podirytowani, kiedy coś idzie nie po naszej myśli? No właśnie, ale nie martw się, mi tego też nikt tego nie powiedział. W dodatku ostatnio osiągnęłam ekstremum złości, mając taki czas, że zamiast zacząć rzucać talerzami, stali się nimi wszyscy najbliżsi mi ludzie, w domu, w pracy i poza nią.


POTRZEBA

Wspólny cel ludzkości to szczęście i spokój. Paradoks jednak jest taki, że Im bardziej próbujemy to osiągnąć, tym mniejsze szanse, że to się stanie. Usilne staranie, by czuć się szczęśliwym, wpędza nas w całkowitą rozpacz. Sprawdziłam to na własnej skórze, bowiem mój ciągły wysiłek, by całkowicie wyeliminować negatywne uczucia, takie jak brak pewności siebie, smutek, niepewność czy poczucie porażki — sprawiły, że mało tego, że czułam się nieszczęśliwa, ale wpadałam w pułapkę bezradności. Wszyscy z uporem maniaka gonimy za czymś, w trakcie orientując się, że nie wiemy za czym. W dodatku zakładając maski pozytywnych siłaczy, bo to się teraz ceni w towarzystwie.

Zimą w dodatku łatwiej niż kiedykolwiek popadamy w przygnębienie, smutek i zły humor. Wiemy o tym nie od dziś, a jednak nie umiemy nad tym zapanować. Dodatkowo huśtawki emocji często spowodowane są naszą fizjonomią, hormonami, czynnikami zewnętrznymi a ponad wszystko związane są z ludźmi, których spotykamy na swojej drodze. Wszystkim nam żyłoby się lepiej, gdyby po prostu negatywne i niechciane emocje zastąpić tymi pozytywnymi i lubianymi. Jak to jednak zrobić? Nie da się za dotknięciem czarodziejskiej różdżki zmienić swojego charakteru i genetyki, ale można codziennie się siebie uczyć, dostrzegając popełniane błędy. W rzeczywistości jednak aby nauczyć się pracy nad sobą trzeba zacząć od zasady numer jeden: przyjmuj to, co ci się przytrafia.


POJEDNANIA

Jak jednak radzić sobie z negatywnymi ludźmi i sytuacjami? Mówi się, że na świecie jest niewielu negatywnych ludzi, stanowią jakieś 10% populacji, ale za to mają największą siłę przebicia. To ci ludzie, którzy wyglądają, jakby karmiono ich cytrynami, zawsze mają skrzywioną minę i psują wszystkim humor. Są marudni, zawsze mają powody do narzekań. Są cyniczni, w nikim i w niczym nie są w stanie znaleźć nic dobrego. Zawsze coś im nie pasuje, ale nie sposób ich unikać. Właściwie cały czas wzajemnie na siebie wpływamy i nasze zróżnicowane charaktery się przenikają, czy tego chcemy, czy nie. Brutalna prawda jednak jest taka, że nikt cię nie zdoła rozzłościć, jak nie dasz mu na to przyzwolenia. Warto wreszcie uświadomić sobie, że obwiniając innych o zły nastrój, rezygnujemy z odpowiedzialności i z trzymania mocno w rękach kierownicy swojego życia. Dajemy prowadzić się tym ludziom, zupełnie jakbyśmy im ufali, mimo że wcale nie chcemy i nie zapraszaliśmy ich do swojego życia. Czynniki, w których codziennie się znajdujemy, są niezależne od naszych wyborów, ale na pewno do nas należy wybór jak na nie zareagować, bo to nie okoliczności tworzą człowieka, ale one odsłaniają jego prawdziwą naturę. Kiedy napisałam te słowa, zrobiło mi się wstyd, bo uświadomiłam sobie, jak źle zachowuje się, kiedy tracę panowanie nad sobą lub ktoś wyprowadza mnie z równowagi. Tu chyba zaczyna się nauka.

Nie da się wszystkiego kontrolować, nie da się również unikać problemów. Może więc, skoro już wiemy, że zawsze będą, warto otworzyć się na nie i uśmiechnąć się do nich. Potraktować je jako ważne życiowe lekcje.

 

 

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